Not sure why I’m even writing this

I am empty and I don’t know what to do. Ask Jesus to reveal himself to you and listen.  Be active in waiting for the Lord to work. He will work.

I am beginning to put together my entries for the World Press Photo competition. I think I will submit my pro life story, some type of detroit story, maybe a china story, and ukraine.

As one who seeks Jesus, I began believing that I knew that I knew what my motives were in areas such as serving others, loving, living, photographing, etc. I told myself that I was doing it for Jesus. Prompted by the spirit I had a revelation yesterday and that belief changed as I read scripture.

Obedience to God is not found in yourself, aka, your ideas. This is why the Spirit of God leads us to put to death the deeds of the rebellious flesh (Rom. 8:13, 14; Gal. 5:16,24). Sooo, I will never know what my motives are when I try and justify my actions by my own understanding.  So deep are the shallow roots of man’s attempt to follow God. A list  containing all things that separate us from God and one list of all this that God approves, if memorized and practiced still will not make us pure. . That we shouldn’t do will never be able Man’s best attempt is not enough, even if the motives seem pure.

God is the one who makes the motives pure and is the only one who knows my heart. Although at times my heart can cry out and make me feel that it’s feelings are so real, so true, so guiding that all I can do is follow it to find the fulfillment it searches for. Even up to yesterday, I knew that I was trying to serve the Lord with a clean heart, believing with a dangerous subtle notion that my motives were pure. That is still too bold, I believed that my motives didn’t need to be checked.

The flesh nature is hostile to God and will not subject itself to the law of God’. (Rom. 8:7).  Can I determine what is and isn’t a pure motive in my heart. What Pride! Either all is pure or all is not. The truth is found in which is leading my life; the Spirit or the Flesh. I will never know the motives of my life but I will submit myself to the knowledge of God I own, bowing all of me to let the Spirit guide.  The all that we feel we need to know, (financial questions, health questions, love, etc), we don’t need to know.

Belief in Jesus the most powerful opportunity we have. But the devil believes in Jesus too! And he is scared. In Christ, where all can stand by God’s strength, can we find true life. My prayer for you is the same as it is for me, that Jesus reveals himself and that in words, attitude, reaction and response may the fullness of Christ be the only reflection of life in mine.

I have had a few people lately say that it is so “easy” for me specifically to be a christian. I don’t know what that means. As you just referenced in your mind that I am on the outside of what you are going through then I ask you what you think the inside is and how it differs from the outside. Experience?

Know that You are awesome! And so complete in God! Now  it seems as though you are searching for more of something to fill your down time. Prayer isn’t enough, God isn’t enough. I say that is because you search and pray on your own strength. God never hides and doesn’t go anywhere in relation to where we are. You have defined your needs as more social life or more whatever. I feel the same way too when focused on myself, but my impatience is with my job and what I am doing to be a better photographer/filmmaker. I never feel what I am doing is enough. I dont think you actually want me to go on as I do, encouraging you in what I believe is the truth, but here the words are free and your time is limited.

I pray that joy and contemptuous gratitude come to you through jesus. a small story, my friend Andrew Jump always countered my selfish thoughts with scripture, and i didn’t like it. but it was because my heart was hard and in subtle rebellion, I was seeking for my own way to follow god. Then he hit me with a proverb…Притчи 1:5..Хай послухає мудрий і примножить науку, а розумний здобуде хай мудрих думок.
[12/7/09 12:50:46 AM] Stephen McGee: have a good time.

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1 comment
  1. Amy said:

    This reminds me of something of Henri Nouwen’s book, THE INNER VOICE OF LOVE. You should definitely check it out. And I’ll be praying for you…it’s never EASY to be a Christian.

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