Take Time

october light is beautiful.
it shines, reflected down the high gloss floor, wood,
through the glass pain of my neighbors front door
his hall beaming with red in my most favorite light in the world.
october is my light.
his burgendy entrance way warms the light even more as
it sets over detroit
i’ve lived in my house in detroit for almost 4 years now.
it is a 1918 condo located on the 8th floor and shares a hall with my neighbor
who has lived here as long as I have.

my neighbor has had a lot of tough times in his past three years
with his sister dying, his mother dying, his favorite dog dying.
then he got cancer which he overcame.

i saw him in the hall

he got another dog and it barked a lot. a lot and a lot more.
i wrote him a few times about it, always wanting to just be ok with it or trying
to find a new way to give a suggestion of how the dog could become ok with me.
in the four years he has given me a couch, a dining room table used for
so many large eating events.

i always felt for him a need to spend more time with him.
and I didn’t.
we went to dinner a few times and he helped me with a few rides.
i prayed with him a few times and a few times more.

i woke up this morning with a few shoots and to do items.
i left thinking the dog was very quiet.
i came back at 1:30 for a few pieces of gear i forgot and i saw his
partner downstairs hugging a woman with my Mikes dog.

i was on the phone at the time and said, “I wonder if my neighbor died”.
It was strange for me to say it as it is for me to write.

this evening i came back and met another resident and he gave me the news that my neighbor had died.

it struck me.

my brand new girlfriend, her golden hair so beautifully backlit with the october light, had just walked in behind me when i got the news.

she is three days old in detroit.

i passed her in confusion, thinking I had not spent enough time with mike over the past few years and kept thinking of what I could have done as I took the trash out and then stood in the most amazing breeze remembering Mike.

I dont know how to handle this.

Gods grace and strength.

I should have spent more time with him. Praise God for the time i did.

even if we have the right to complain or bring up things we think should change, for me it was his dog, we don’t need to if it undermines our ability for gods love to reflect off of us.

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1 comment
  1. mo said:

    I’m sorry man, that tough. You planted seeds though, and they very well might have bloomed.

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