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It’s not a standard practice for a pot of clay to ask it’s potter, “Give me Vision”. I place a constant pressure on myself to create because it’s what I love, sometimes how I love and it’s how I think. Its ingrained in me to tell stories visually. I create films in a way that is growing with the vision he is giving me, which isn’t always clear and that makes me go crazy sometimes.  I’m learning that my perspective varies from my to eternal in an instant when I am reminded of the promises and makings held in certain faith.

I am in an incredible season of testing. The test centers around letting go of my life list of things I would change.  The list isn’t even worth going into but I wanted to explain how today was a blessing in reminding me where to place my hope and how the placement of my hope determines my attitude in my situation. I really want to be joyful no matter what.

No call is clearer that what he reminded me of today, “God crafts amazingness from my brokenness. He actually uses my brokenness to make amazing things. He makes all things work together for my good.”

I expect challenges in my life. I also expect the success from God and the variety of ways that success will come in. I am not only willing to step into this season knowing it will produce endurance and fruit but am encouraged and empowered as I keep stepping through this season as I see my flesh wage war.  I believe it is a good thing to see the battle between flesh and spirit.

It is impossible to be physically or emotionally ready or prepared for a season like this but, leaning one foot forward, equipped I become through the ever present inheritance found in Jesus’ promises. But that step isn’t so clear sometimes. I try so hard to interpret where God wants me to go next. Each time the lengths of my worry begot illogical thinking. And for some reason I am surprised.

“You will lack nothing” he reminded his disciples and me. “When I sent you out without food, clothing or money, did you lack anything?” The disciples and I answer, “No.”  I was sent to my wife. I lack nothing. I was sent to Detroit. I lack nothing. The list continues.

Yet, even with this knowledge, sometimes I desire to see around each infliction. It shakes me and I want a quick self made way out. I look for motto, “I feel like I should be happy all the time”. Fakeness sucks.

Today I had four moments where I felt like I lacked. Each moment was quickly rendered false; one by the truth of his word, one by the power of testimony from my amazing wife who told me about what she learned in church, one by wisdom from my awesome brother in London, one by prayer backed by remembering what he has already spoken.

David sang entire songs about his despair and had verses reminding his soul to place it’s hope in the Lord. Psalm 42, 43. Read it.

vs 3. Tears are saying, “where is your God? Tears have been my food day and night.” Man that dude is sad. At that time he was asking for a savior. The difference with us, is that we have one. All justification, peace, love, identity and wholeness is found in him.

Psalm 42, 43 personalized/interpreted by my words and the words of Pastor Cliff at Woodside Detroit:

I am asking for water that gives life and you wash over me with water so powerful that it brings death by a drowning so significant the calendar shifted when it happened.  In his steadfast love, I live like I need less death and more love.  I live crying out, “Please show me your love”.  Instantly overwhelmed by circumstance my rock seems to have forgotten me. Emotional pain. Why is my soul forgetting the truth i can recite at any given moment. Fight for me God! I’m trying to live for you and create for you and love for you and live for you. I am trying so hard to make my identity in the sent Savior you gave me. Save me!

His waters quiet and whisper, “I have”.

Where is He!

HE is Here. God has Him here.

The past year and half has brought a new understanding to me: God loves us enough to allow us to go through things to show us what our hope is in. My hope was in soooooo many things that weren’t Him. His grace has revealed that and now has broken those chains.

After his awesome sermon, which pissed a ton of people off but made Jesus stand while at the right hand of his Father, Stephen was taken to be killed. Looking up, through his oppressors throwing stones at his head, past his critics, with un approval all around him, with grace and thanksgiving and peace, he declared, in the most un oportune time possible, “Forgive them God, they don’t know what they are doing.”

Thats legit. What pain do I have? Why down oh my soul? God so good.

We will not be free of pain and suffering in this life time but we are free from the slavery to pain and suffering with the knowledge that all pain and suffering will be abolished at the coming of Jesus.

Thus, after reading the word today, praying, listening to the faithfulness of my wife’s love for God, listening to wise men talk about Jesus in my community, I can say this, “The vision I have is for now and in this now, Christ is working” and with patience given to me I will press on and wait for him to pull me out of this test I am in with Him by my side.

May I encourage you to place all your hope and justification not in what you can do but in the already finished work of Jesus Christ. The rescue Jesus offers will promote a performance in your life unmatched by what is possible in all possible human achievement.

Now, at the end of this day I can see that everything that is fighting against my soul is illuminated by the Spirit who reveals that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Not only where I am supposed to be, but that my life isn’t about me, but is about serving others bc that is how Jesus lived.

Nothing, no critique, no affirmation , no anger, no words, no aggression, no film, not even the sweetest frame has any saving or destroying power.

The vision will come.

And in other news, Be honest and patient with your clients.

Below are photos of children and orphans in Ukraine who have been left by the government to raise. They make up the majority of the crime and human trafficking victims. It’s important to remember such peoples while the rest of the world watches the Eurocup down the street.

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Original thoughts are great. Often hard to come by.

When you are searching for your own voice in your art medium and can’t find it or don’t know how to define it, try listening to others and repeat what they are saying with your own accent. After awhile you will find what you are looking to say. Einstein said “creativity is creatively hiding your sources”.

The last visual slide in my Vietnam movie. Child like faith anyone?

The last visual slide in my Vietnam movie. Child like faith anyone?

Children playing at sunset on the shores of Da Nang, Vietnam.

Obedience by listening for Christ’s calling is key, not suggestions or what-i-would dos or books that suggest or relate like circumstances (I am not against reaching out but don’t forget to reach up first). If Abraham had a read a Christian author’s searching-for-faith book he might have killed Isaac, listening to the authors voice instead of The Author’s voice. In addition, awards aren’t the wicks that reveal to the celebrant that the victor is or are on God’s path. As it was in the beginning, I am here to glorify God with how I win and how I lose so whether I win or lose, I will honor my Lord with my attitude and purpose.  With purpose comes vision when patience and apathetic empathy collide in His grace and apprehensive is denied. Saul knew everything about security. Paul knew everything about falling down only to truely stand.Purpose is the foothold, the foundation, the fortress one starts from to cast vision. It is the stronghold one stands on to look out to something to be revealed.

On the contrary, purposeful events, like that of winning an Emmy, are not to show that God has done something, but that he is doing something. Called Human Beings, we are more to our liking and idolistic pleasure, Human Doings. Until you extinguish all surrounding darkness by becoming truly in this world but not of this world, God will be doings in you. While you are alive your life is to show God is doing something. The boastful trumpets of Jesus are sounded when the humble show love.  With such a simple answer to the unlikely simple question of, “Where is God”, why is disaster so often anticipated by the reincarnated.

But oh the human drive to relate with someone or something. The Book shelf of answers comprised by knowledge could in self scribble in sleep a written fiction to novelize one’s comprised scored life; a Beethoven’s sonata that each of us have written in the language “Complaint”, when the drama fueled by internal orchestras ignite the digital analogs that store and score error and success alike. Where do you reach?

I struggle with my flesh these days as it wants the entire world to know that I have won two Emmy’s.  But praise be to God that my purpose is Christ and my struggle with fame or lack there of is conquered whether I struggle or not because of my vision. I pray that he, in spite of my weakness, will glorify himself through his will, overlooking and changing my self assessed placement card. Is it not for myself that I should and deserve to stand atop the highest peak of success? No and no again. Falso (in Italian). My purpose is Christ casting my vision to prepare the way for a great return, it is to serve the lowest of the low and consider myself as Jesus did; a servant out for the will of the Lord.

If victory is held on to during the journey in times of struggle perseverance forgets what to hold on to. As vision is cast, a creation is born that defies logic as it grows stronger with both patience and action. When the vision is God sent, all there needs to be is one spark and a population will understand and make it their own. Victory is not the objective to start with but the objection to the means.

I praise God for what he has done in my life and what he will do in my life in the days and years to come.

Inspired by Revelation 1. First time I have ever read it.